Hello Internet
I’m coming to you from the Cancer Full Moon, which currently hangs low in the sky, golden as if candlelit. This past week I’ve been silently rejoicing in remembering that I am “at an impressionable age.“
Of course, I know I’m young, a ripe twenty-one, but the age of the soul doesn’t always align with your physical age, does it?1 I’ve felt aged for some time now by years of isolation which I’ve alchemized into enthusiastic introversion and circumstances that I alchemize into art. For the first time in a while, youth is calling again. My recent inspiration has invigorated me and made me excited to know that everything I am collecting, observing, and documenting right now is foreshadowing my art and life in the future. Media as divination. Inspiration as divination.
Also, the expansion of Substack and my engagement with it has revealed to me an intellectual and creative kinship that I certainly feel inspired by. Substack has made me feel less alone in the struggles and joys of writing in this digital age, in my need to digest the culture, or and most importantly, in my need to carve out an artistic space on the internet that is mine and mine alone. Everyone here knows how important having a space to share your voice is even if you’re the only one who hears it.
I told my mom of my youth dawning on me and she said, “Why would you think that? You can be impressionable at 28 or 35…” She stopped there. This scared me. I don’t ever want to stop absorbing and alchemizing. Maybe I’ll never feel old again if inspiration and creation continue forever.
Porcelain Kitsch
Oversentimental and gawdy just the way I like it.
The Umbrellas of Cherbourg / Les Parapluies de Cherbourg
I rewatched this movie this week and fell into a kaleidoscopic trance of vibrant color and a lovely score. Beware to all who detest musicals, every line in this movie is sung. It is devastatingly beautiful, decadent, and un-self-aware. Also, as I believe I mentioned in a previous post, it played a part in the making of La La Land. As much as I want to put this movie on in the background of my days to soak up its richness and fill my subconscious with something pleasant, that would be sacrilegious towards this piece of art, which should command one’s full attention.
The Sopranos
My boyfriend and I started watching the Sopranos. We’re only on season one. I can’t believe HBO expected Entourage to produce a similar cinematic feeling after they released this masterpiece…This show makes me want to experience the rise of modern television and see it during its prime. I’m ashamed to say that the only thing I’ve ever seen Michael Imperioli in is White Lotus2 and after seeing him in the Sopranos, I think it’s brilliant that they cast3 him for the role of Dominic in White Lotus Season 2. The gangster heartthrob to sex addict in adulthood pipeline in his acting career is great. I find that good casting comprises roles that seamlessly stitch together the myth of the actor, their real and imagined qualities.
Art Journaling
I got a graphed journal this week, which I’ve shunned all my life despite its utility because of how much it reminds me of math, but I broke down because I was influenced by Heaven Sent Honey’s4 art journal tour (hers was graphed, which helps make structured spreads). I found some ancient Prismacolor hard pastels in my bottom desk drawer, which I've been having fun with. I like working in high contrast, emphasizing light and shadow; most of the time I sketch in black gel pen. Getting my hands dirty with the velvety black charcoal-like medium feels primal and cathartic and allows me to work with light and shadow directly as well.
I’ve been losing myself for hours in this, becoming serene and meditative while I sketch or write poetry of my own or transcribe poems that I enjoy. Working on this journal has been satiating my desire for tangible results. This project, “the world of camicore“ is about careful experimentation and allowing time to work its magic. I like that I have no idea when I’ll finish it. I hope it might be an endless endeavor, one of synthesizing print media, art, and writing over the course of my lifetime. There a pseudo-scrapbook aspect to it as well. It’s sentimental.
Adventures in Capitalism: Shopping Santa Cruz and Berkeley
Yorgo and I decided that we’d keep things lowkey for our anniversary and set off on a two-day thrifting and antique shopping trip in Santa Cruz in Berkeley. Encountering discarded, beautiful things of the past may be the best source of inspiration outside of the internet.
If you’re a fan of used books, Thai food, and good wine (a superior trifecta), Bad Animal in Santa Cruz is an essential visit.
We also had a fun time wandering around Urban Ore, a salvage yard with everything from doors to theater sets to genuine snake leather oxfords (one of Yorgo’s scores) to ragtime sheet music (one of mine), then got lunch at Bongo Burger.5
Thanks for tuning in. I’m interested to know your current inspirations in the comments :) Stay magical.
. ݁₊ ⊹.ᐟ
I don’t think I’m a better person because I feel mature, I might just be more bitter…
Did I just welcome my potentially very revealing Gen Z unknowing on the internet? Yes, I did.
Seeing Ariana Grande in Wicked has made me think more about casting and an actors’ context.
I will never stop raving about this woman!
Get the Persian Burger– you won’t regret it.